little ones and dreams

I'm inside and I need to be outside.  I'm going there soon.

Overhead a quiet song is playing that sounds like it should be French.  I think it's in English.  I look outside and I see sunshine and leaves sparkling in the wind.

I just played with my dear friend's little son, and he hugged me repeatedly and made my heart melt.  I adore little kids and I don't get to be around them nearly enough.  I'm so thankful to be an auntie, and I hope for more little ones in my life.  (Hurry up friends, and have more babies!)

There are ideas flowing and bouncing around in my mind right now.  Dreams are simmering and bubbling over in my brain.  I'm excited and inspired.

Other ideas, sadder ones, are clouding my mind a little.  What happens when you truly care for someone, but your dreams are different?  If this someone is a friend, you can just encourage one another...and support one another.  But if this person is someone you share a romantic relationship with, it becomes more complicated.  My heart and mind waiver between logic and emotion.  I hoped so much that this would be someone I could grow and explore life with...but he doesn't want what I want...and that's not fair to either of us.  I have so much fun with him and adore him.  Why must life be so complex?

When I think about my heart, though, and what I want, I have to choose my dreams right now.  I have to choose this future that I dream of...  In the meantime, I will appreciate day-to-day and happiness and all the blessings in my life.  I will appreciate this good man who has made me feel special and happy.

And I will be true to myself and love myself and have faith that everything works out perfectly; that the universe is abundant and what we all need will come to us if we choose authenticity and kindness and are open to the possibilities.

I choose love.  I choose honesty.

In this case, I choose to love myself and my dreams.

Paz.